


A problem with memory

by Sadlyamundane



Series: Tumblr Prompts [7]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Amnesia, I cried so yeah it's sad I guess, M/M, Some Fluff, Some angst, i dunno
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-27
Updated: 2017-07-27
Packaged: 2018-12-07 17:13:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11628138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sadlyamundane/pseuds/Sadlyamundane
Summary: Tumblr prompt: Do you think you could write a Saphael amnesia fic where Simon wakes up and thinks he's still mundane? He looks around and sees everyone he's supposed to 'know' but he can only remember Clary?It hurts but Simon still manages to open his eyes. He shut them instantly again. The florescent lights burned too brightly.“I think he’s awake, Cat” he hears unfamiliar male voice call followed by sets of pounding footsteps. Why was everything so loud.“Simon, I’m here” The same voice says and he can smell the man’s scent, and felt his ice-cold touch against his forehead.Simon opens his eyes again; the man’s blurry face came into focus. His skin was unusually pale, Simon thought it had to do with the terrible lighting.“Simon, how are you feeling?” the man asked and Simon could hear the worry and panic in his voice, the man looked like he hadn’t slept in forever.“I’m sorry” Simon’s voice cracked from being unused for so long “who are you?” he asked.





	A problem with memory

It hurts but Simon still manages to open his eyes. He shut them instantly again. The florescent lights burned too brightly. 

“I think he’s awake, Cat” he hears unfamiliar male voice call followed by sets of pounding footsteps. Why was everything so loud. 

“Simon, I’m here” The same voice says and he can smell the man’s scent, and felt his ice-cold touch against his forehead. 

Simon opens his eyes again; the man’s blurry face came into focus. His skin was unusually pale, Simon thought it had to do with the terrible lighting. 

“Simon, how are you feeling?” the man asked and Simon could hear the worry and panic in his voice, the man looked like he hadn’t slept in forever. 

“I’m sorry” Simon’s voice cracked from being unused for so long “who are you?” he asked. There was a loud gasp from someone else in the room. Simon watches as the man’s expression change from scared to hurt. 

His hand stopped creasing Simon’s forehead and he slowly back away, until he was standing against the wall. 

Simon’s eyes wondered the room, he couldn’t bear to look at the man. Though Simon didn’t know who he was. It pained him to see the man so sad. 

Among a cluster of unknown faces, Clary stood. But to Simon she didn’t look like the Clary he knew, scares and tattoos covered the exposed parts of her body. The vibrant red of her hair was duller, she looked older. 

“Clary, who are these people, what’s going on?” Simon asked, panic seeping through his words. 

“It’s going to be okay Si, calm down” Clary said and rushed over to his side. 

“Catarina, what is going on with him” The tall man at the back of the group spoke to the woman- Catarina that stood beside the bed where Simon laid.

“I’ll have to rerun some test now that he’s awake but I have an idea” Catarina said and gestured for the man she spoke to and the one against the wall to follow. 

“Clary, who are these people, what’s going on” Simon whispered though he was sure the three-other tatted up people in the room could hear him. 

“Simon, we’re your friends” The dark hair girl spoke, there was a sharp pained tone in her voice, Simon wanted to believe her but how could he, he had no idea who she was. 

“I-I don’t know who you are”

“Izzy, don’t overwhelm him, let’s go wait outside” The dark-haired man at the back of the group said. 

“Do you want me to stay with you?” The blonde one asked. 

“I’ll be fine Jace” Clary smiled at him before turning to Simon. 

“Please tell me what’s going on” Simon pleaded. 

“There was an accident” Catarina interrupted before Clary had a chance to speak “you hit your head very hard, you’ll have to stay here for a couple of days”

“Couple of days? I’ll have to call my mom” Simon said with wide eyes. 

“Your family has been informed, your mother will be after I’ve done your check-up” Catarina smiled and shooed Clary out of the room. 

 

“Raphael, how are you feeling?” Clary asked and placed a hand on Raphael’s shoulder.

“The love of my life woke up not knowing who I am, how do you think I feel” Raphael snapped and shrugged Clary’s hand from his shoulder before walking away.

Magnus casted a disapproving look over the shadowhunter before following behind Raphael. 

“Raphael” Magnus whispered softly and grabbed onto Raphael’s arm and pulled him into his arms. 

“He doesn’t remember me” Raphael let out a choked sob “after everything, we’ve been through he doesn’t know me” 

“shh” Magnus cooed and stroked Raphael’s hair. 

“It’s not fair, not after everything we’ve been through” 

“I know it’s not fair but Catarina is working on it, he’s going to remember you, how can he not”

 

“Magnus, Raphael” Catarina called “he’s asleep again. I need to talk to all of you” She added to the shadowhunters and led them down the hallway to small office. “Simon has a state of Amnesia, he doesn’t have any recollection of the past five years, that is up until the night of Clary’s eighteenth birthday”

“Before they both leaned about the shadow world” Jace says from the back of the group. 

“And some of us knows how hard it can be to have your world flipped upside down, he can’t find out about it now, we need to be cautious with how we present the situation, he has lot of questions that I don’t have the answer to” Catarina let out a weary sigh “Raphael, can you contact his mother and sister?”

“Yeah” Raphael choked out. Even though Elaine and Rebecca knew Simon was a vampire, their relationship had become distant.

“He wants to see them” 

“Will he ever get back his memory?” Alec asked the question everyone was dreading the most.

“There is a possibility he might not” The rest of Catarina’s words died at the sound of glass shattering. 

Clary let out a sob and collapsed against Jace’s chest, everyone started in horror as they watched Raphael pulled his bloody hand through the now broken window. 

“Raphael, I know how you must be feeling” Magnus said and tentatively stepped forward. 

“Do you? Do any of you really know what it feels like to have the people you love not remember you? To have this constantly happen to you?” Raphael’s tone was cold and distant; it was frightening to see him like this. “I’m going home, portal” 

Magnus and Catarina exchanged a worried look before Magnus snapped his fingers opening the portal as requested. 

 

Simon woke again to the hushed whispers of his mothers and Clary’s voice. He could hear his mother asking for someone named Raphael, he hears her stating how worried he must be. 

“Mom” Simon called the small smile on his face disappearing instantly “what happened to your hair? It’s so much grayer than” Simon paused, how long has he been unconscious. 

“It doesn’t matter monkey, I’m here now” Elaine cried and took Simon’s hands in hers.

 

“Raphael oh my poor boy” Magnus called and stooped beside the couch where Raphael was laying, staring up at the ceiling with a blank look in his eyes, a bottle of blood spiked with vodka laid almost empty on the floor besides him. “What are you doing?”

“He’s so selfish, how can he just- how can he just forget about me, doesn’t he know how much I love him? Doesn’t he know that I can’t live without him? How can he do this to me?” Raphael turned to Magnus.  
“You know it wasn’t his fault” Magnus ran his fingers through Raphael’s hair “he loves you”

“I told him to stay home, I told him not to go out, the shadowhunters are more than enough to take care of the remaining followers loyal to Valentine” tears fell from Raphael’s eyes “he never listens”

Raphael falls asleep in Magnus' arms and for the first time in three years Simon falls asleep alone.

 

"Raphael" Simon's tilts his head to the side when he sees the other man in his hospital room the next morning.

"You- you remember?" Raphael asked and pushes his shaky finger into his pants pocket.

Simon shakes his head no "I heard your name"

"Right" Raphael sighed.

"Can you open the blinds? The florescent lights making me feel sick" 

"That can't happen" Raphael says and sits in the slightly uncomfortable chair in the room.

"I'd do it myself but I'm hooked up to the blood bag" Simon's voice raises in annoyance.

"It's not that I don't want to, it's because I can't Simon, I'm sure you know what happens to vampires when they go into the sun"

"I'm a vampire?" Simon asks softly.

Raphael silently gestured to the closed blinds and the blood besides Simon "Catarina doesn't want you to go into shook but we're vampires"

"Clary and the tattoo squad?" 

"Shadowhunters" 

"Oh" Simon says softly "and the other guy?"

"Warlock" Raphael studied Simon closing as he take in the information.

"And who are you to me?"

"I-"

"Raphael is your clan leader" Clary smiles and pushes past Raphael to get to Simon.

"You've said enough" Jace whispers as he walked pass Raphael.

"Clary is it true?" Simon asked, tears burning his eyes and fall. "I'm I'm a vampire?"

Clary nodded and takes Simon's hand in her own "you don't remember anything that happened in the past five years"

Simon's eyes shut as the tears spilled down his cheek. "Five years of my life? Gone?" 

Raphael said nothing and silently prayed the earth would open and swallow him, his Simon was in so much pain but he wasn't his. 

"I don't know what I'm supposed to be feeling and what to think but I know one thing, I've always known one thing" Simon reached up and cupped Clary's face "I love you Clary"

"Simon" Clary croaked as a rush of wind filled the room. Raphael didn't wait to hear anymore, he couldn't.

Raphael's visit to the hospital happened during the time he knew Simon would be asleep and slowly decreased until they stopped all together.

"Simon went home today, to his mothers house" Luke comments and stands in the door way of Raphael's office. 

"Is that all you came to discuss tonight?" Raphael asked without looking up from his desk.

"Raphael, you're only hurting yourself by staying away from him"

"And only hurt him more if he knows the truth, you didn't see the way he looked at her, she's everything to him, he doesn't even know how I am" Raphael sighed and rubbed his hand over his face.

"He loves you" Luke leaned against the doorframe and stuck his hand in his pocket.

"He doesn't know me" Raphael snapped and knocked down the glass of the blood causing it to shatter.

 

Simon hates that he doesn't remember. He can feel him, but he doesn't remember.

He slowly makes his way around the living room. Taking in the pictures that had changed. Pictures from their childhood were pushed to the side to make place for Rebecca's graduation pictures, pictures from family dinners and holidays. 

The one consistent change there was was him, the man from the hospital. Raphael. 

"Hey monkey" Elaine smiled and draped an arm around Simon's waist "how are you"

"Tell me about him" 

Elaine signed and picked up the first picture they had taken with Raphael. It was before they had started to date, Raphael had came with Simon to his mother the truth.

"He loves you so much" Elaine whispered and looked up at Simon "I couldn't accept the fact that you would be alone forever, but Raphael, he reassured me he'd take care of you, and he did" 

There was a short pause "you're stubborn but he's twice as stubborn, you wanted to be left alone, and he wanted to take care of you" Elaine laughed lightly "and then he did leave you alone and you to him. It took awhile but you two eventually worked things out and you fell in love with him"

"Don't you mean we fell in love with each other?" Simon's eyebrows frowned together.

"No, he was always in love with you" Elaine smiled sadly "he proposed to you the week before the accident" Elaine said and fished a ring out of her pocket and placed it into Simon's hand. 

Simon closed his eyes and tried to peace it all together, but came up blank. "I want to remember him but I can't"

"Maybe you should go visit him? Do you think that will help?" 

 

Simon waited until sundown to leave the house, he didn't know where he was going but his feet led him to an old abandoned hotel, except it wasn't abandoned.

"Why are you here?" Simon hears Raphael's voice before he sees him. He looks worst now from when Simon first saw him, his jacket is wrinkled and his hair a tussled uncombed mess. 

"I came to see you?"

"Why? The shadowhunter got bored of you all over again?" Raphael asked and stepped closer to Simon.

"No, but I know I love you and not her" Simon smiled weakly. He knows he love Raphael. It's the only thing that feels right. 

"You don't know me" Raphael laughed bitterly and stopped close to Simon.

Simon took a deep breath and surged forward to kiss Raphael. "You were there the night I turned, you saved me before Camille could kill me, I threw a knife at you the first time we met, you hate it when I fidget and you shop for me more than yourself" Simon muttered against Raphael's lips.

"How did you know all of that" Raphael asked with wide eyes.

"You, now that I'm here with you I just know"


End file.
